BREAKING THE SILENCE: THE UNTOLD STORY IN CIUDAD CHRISTIA

“If you love your life… don’t fall in love”

…..I now realized why some of my classmates always have sleepless nights and always shed tears (one of those is Ryan, heheh). Now, I believe – loving is a curse and catastrophic point in one’s life. I experienced it. To tell you sincerely – this is the very first time in the entirety of my life that I fall in love. But because of things occurred last weeks I have to consider many things, I stop loving her because it will affect the friendship I created with that man. What a coincidence? We, best of friends, loved the same girl!!! Because of my kindliness and mediocrity, I let go. I don’t want to compromise the friendship I built just because of that lady!!! No way!!! Friends are more important to me!!!

……Now, may I share my calamitous experience which occurred last August 19 in Ciudad Christia? The reason behind the story why I drink (hehehe, 2 SMB Lite in can lang). I want to share this to let you know how I get hurt.

…..Week before the event, I told her that I love her!!! (First time again in history). Then I started making moves just to show my feelings and care for her. I sent her messages and love quotes. She told me, why only today? Meaning, we are close even before but only now I expreesed my feelings… I told her, there is already a threat!!! So I will make a move… I devoted my entire life to her even if always I saw her with the guy. I am a very covetous person and easily to get hurt… really!!!

…..Two day prior to the event, I decided not to go… because I promised to myself na I will never go on that team building because for sure OP ako dun!!! Circle of friends sila doon eh… then I told her that I am not joining and she replied that she was also not joining. A day after the event I decided to go… and I told her, please join because I will join. I will be giving you your allowance (100.00 hehehe) just to join!!! She didn’t reply on me. On that night I promised to look for a lavender dress for her. And I found one (she used it naman). When I told her if she will join, she said yes – but not to me (kanino? Sa other guy). So I didn’t take it seriously.

Let us go to the top 25 issues and I will not get into the details:

1. Root beer – the reason why I drink at the early morning of August 19 because NAGSELOS talaga ako, seeing her with the guy. So the entire trip going to Rizal or should I say the entire 3 day-affair ay talagang wala ako sa mood. (buti na lang libre ako kaya OK lang).

2. At the Bus – there is a “KANTYAWAN”. So I get hurt again.

3. Meals

4. Chair Arrangement

5. Fever

6. Texting with jen

7. Session with Cathlyn

8. Session with Bjorn

9. Private Walk

10. Sessionwith Tata

11. Session with Gem

12. Heartfelt Incident

13. Private Talk

14. A Favor

15. Doubt

16. Memorable Talk

17. Group Dynamics

18. Swimming

19. Food Poison

20. Practice

21. Verbal War

22. Presentation Issue

23. Sleeping Issue

24. Special Gathering

25. Departure

26. Text War.

…..I always get hurt seeing her with the guy. They were always together, I saw one time she was on the cottage of that guy. I self-pity because bakit di ko magawa na supposedly ay dapat kung gawin, to grab her attention!!! I never had done that. It is too hard to love, promise!!! Parang feel mo ay nasa fear factor ka or extra challenge. I consulted some of my classmates, and they told try to talk to her. Finally I talked to her, do I have any chance at all, kasi I always feel stupidity and nagmumukha akong tanga thinking of many things ang super na akong nahihirapan. Say if I have no chance at all or I have… she said SHE IS OPEN TO BOTH OF US… So I feel somehow gladness. Suddenly my friend from IAS SC texted me that night, after the private talk with that girl, she wanted me to go with her in the swimming pool to find his friend. Abruptly when we are walking approaching to the pool, I saw the girl and the man. Nasaktan na naman ako and I feel the pains until now, so I told to myself. I will stop this feelings to her because ako lang ang nasasaktan sa nakikita ko. There are times na pag nakikita ko sila ay biglang naghihiwalay. If I saw them na magkasama, ang isa ay biglang magtatago. Talaga, I told to myself, tama na kasi masakit. On our practice, I cannot understand why she always contradicting my points and suggestion (not contradicting pero somehow I was affected). To the point na di ko tinapos ang pagkain ko that night!!! And there is a verbal clash (slight) with her. After the presentation, I decided to treat my other classmates to play billiard and videoke… wala lang.. to relieve my anger and pains. And I drink 2 beers. So, yes, slightly nalasing ako because I never drink. talaga. That is the reason why I drink.

…..One day after the three-day affair, she texted me if galit ba ako sa kanya. Then I replied her and asking again if I have the chance.. kasi sa nakikita ko eh medyo Malabo...at para di ko na rin saktan sarili ko. I told her, sabihin mo totoo kasi I am willing to let go, kasi I don’t want to sacrifice the friendship I build to my friend (guy) because I treated him as one of my special best friends. Afterwards and finally, she said: “even before na nagsabi ako ng feelings….she started to fall in love with him” so medyo breath-taking at makalaglag puso (hehehe, corny) ang tagpong iyon. So I cried all night long!!! Until today we have no communication even if na lagi ko siyang kasama. About the man, back to norm, parang walang nangyari… kasi ayoko ipakita na I have problem. Friend ko siya kaya kung ano ang pinakita ko sa kanyang friendship before I never magbabago. It is my decision to let my feelings go… and I will never enter again in any relationship. Tama pala yung sinulat ko sa book ko regarding love story of ryan solis (my classmate) na: “Huwag laruin ang larong di alam kung paano laruin at tapusin”.

…..I want to go back to norm, kasi my relationship to my organization and to my classmates ay affected. I will not think problems na lang. enjoy na lang this life.

“It is happier, when you are alone”